i dont mean to whine. really. but deep inside i feel shit. why am i letting myself fall into this trap... God give me strength, give me strength... i need you lord... and i am sorry, sorry for being misguided, sorry for letting the devil get the better of me. no words can describe my guilt at this moment, and i am truely sorry. I know i've let you down lord and i am not worthy of the love and affection that i crave from you. but i thank you for giving me chances upon chances, for allowing me to be myself. Lord, i need you more than ever in my life. I realise its just bullshit when i said i could control my own life, because now that i look back, i know, that you did a far better job than the mess that i have created for myself. So now i humble myself and beg, please... i need you. Lord, i can't do it without you.


Isn't it weird, how we take for granted the things that have always been there... and always yearn for more but in the end all it brings is load after load of problems. I think this is the 1st time that i have blogged so openly and honestly. Well i think ive said enough for a day and it really feels good to let it all out...